Steve and I have three daughters. All of them are miracle kids, but that is a story for another article. A question I am asked all the time is, “As a mom, what is it like to do ministry with your children?” From the time they were little, I have taken my daughters along with me, from picketing and fighting for justice for the oppressed, to making house visits and doing life with immigrants in our city, to overseas trips. Jordyn and Selah, our two oldest, were only 7 and 4 the first time we took them to India. They were 14 and 11 when we sold our house, said goodbye to our loved ones, and moved to Bolivia. There have been great times, and very difficult times. Through all of these adventures, the girls learned flexibility. It was important to me to include them, it was the best way to disciple them that I knew. Steve and I could tell them about our faith, or we could live it.
I remember a time many years ago, when Jordyn was about ten years old and Selah was six. We were visiting a woman from Sudan who had moved to the US. She came as a refugee and was living in an apartment that was far from ideal. Through no fault of her own there was a constant battle with cockroaches. Every time we visited she would graciously prepare us food to eat, as was the custom in her country. We always ate African style, on the floor, from shared plates. One afternoon, we all sat down to eat, and Jordyn and Selah both saw a cockroach crawling alongside the food. They looked at me horrified. I gave them one of those silent mom looks that says, “don’t react or else”. Well, one of them just flicked the cockroach off and they both kept eating. To make an issue would have been very disrespectful to our hostess. I was so proud of them both!
Giant termites!
Remi, our youngest, was only four years old on a recent trip to Uganda. We were there to see about starting a new prosthetics ministry. There is a very special event that happens only once per year in Uganda: the White Ants start flying. Many Ugandans love these ants and catch as many as they can, to fry and eat, and also store for future food use. Well, not to be left out, Steve took Remi out and together they caught a couple dozen. Not very many by Ugandan standards, but enough to try. After help frying them from a local girl who knew how to prepare them, Remi and Steve chowed down. Remi actually liked them. I tried one–they tasted like burnt popcorn to me. Definitely edible. Later we found out they aren’t really ants at all, they are giant termites!
But the real seeds of learning about doing ministry with my kids started long before any of them were even born. It’s a process I am still going through, but it began back when I was just 19 years old.
Learning my Identity
The first thing I had to learn was WHOSE I was. I grew up in a church, and I always knew that Jesus was my savior, but it wasn’t until I was 19 that I made Him my Lord. At that time, I was in college. I was majoring in accounting, and planning on going on to law school. My goal was to be a corporate lawyer and make a lot of money. After making Jesus as my Lord, I realized I had never included Him in any of my plans. Submitting myself to His Lordship meant I had to surrender my career plans and ask Him what I should do. There is nothing wrong with being an accountant or lawyer, but my motivations were wrong. And that is what I surrendered.
Not only did I have to learn whose I was, but WHO I was. I had this mistaken identity that I carried around that was wrapped up in what other people thought of me or what I did. My career plans were labels I had carried as a badge of honor or pride. But I had other labels I had picked up through the years that were labels of shame. Both were wrong.
Finding myself
My true identity came from being created in the image of God. Being formed in His image means I can be secure in just being who I am, who He made me to be. I don’t think we can dwell on what it means to be created in His image enough. Consider this, there have been more people on this earth than have been counted, and each one made to differently reflect the image of God to others. His character runs so deep that it takes all of us, being just who we were made to be, to show Him to others. Mistaken identity is rampant in the world today, especially among our children. It’s one of the greatest challenges I believe they will face. The world will continue to try and define them by so many lies. And we can’t help them be free from that unless we know the truth and understand our own identity. God calls us His friend, His handiwork or work of art, His treasure, His beloved and so much more that is good.
Restoring Personal Value
This is something we love sharing with our patients. After losing a leg, many of our clients are told by those they thought loved them that they are no longer useful, in fact, now they bring shame to the family or village because they can no longer contribute. Spouses, families and friends have walked away from them. What a joy to tell them the truth that God sees them, they are valuable, they are loved, and they matter.
Finally, I had to learn WHAT I was called to do. Some of Jesus’ last words to the disciples are found in Matthew 28:18 – 20. “I have been given all authority in heaven and on earth. Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you. And be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
We tend to think that this verse only applies to those who serve in full-time ministry, especially cross culturally, because we tend to focus on that word GO. But the word, go, is better translated “while you are going” or “as you live your life”. The only command in that verse in the original Greek is to make disciples. As moms, and dads, we have an amazing opportunity to disciple our kids. So long before I stepped overseas, that meant leading a life of intentionally demonstrating to my children what it means to follow Jesus. This is no guarantee that they will grow up and follow Him. The Lord gives us all a choice. But while I can, I want to make the most of every moment of influence that I have. I believe our children see it best as we invest our lives in others. Americans tend to think they have to invest a lot of money in their children and allow them to do everything they want. Lives become centered around all the activities of the kids, good things like soccer, baseball, dance, gymnastics, having the latest electronic equipment, best clothing, etc. But if we spend our parenting years making all our time centered around our children and their activities, we will end up with very self-focused kids. They need to see us living out the Gospel, loving God, and loving others, not just in word, but in deed. We need to make room in our schedules to show our children how to love others.
This is not always easy. As moms we tend to carry the joys and sorrows of our children. And as you step out in faith the enemy will attack. I remember preparing to go to Bolivia. Our oldest daughter was having an exceptionally hard day. My heart broke for her and I said to her that God either called all of us to go, or none of us. And that her dad and I weren’t trying to ruin her life and we would not go unless we were all on board. And that it was okay to hurt. Through her tears she just looked at me and said, “Mom, I can see that everything in our life up until now has led to this point, I’m just having a bad day.” I couldn’t’ have said that any better and I was so proud of her in that moment. My heart still hurt for her, but I knew that through her pain the Lord had things to teach her. I had to remember Jesus’s departing words, “Behold, I am with you always, even to the ends of the earth.” I am not writing as someone who has perfected her journey, not at all, I’m just a fellow sojourner learning as I go!.
I am not writing as someone who has perfected her journey, not at all, I’m just a fellow sojourner learning as I go!
